Jon goh and Jem teo were telling me how it feels like to be year 4 student. Realizing that all your other friends have moved on from poly, talking either about uni or army yet here I am still talking about poly and everything related to it.

I'm truly afraid of being left behind. Not in a academic sense per say but more of a social perspective. We remain friends cos we have similar things to talk about and feel the same way about those things. Now what if the similar things no longer become similar. Will we grow apart?

With things as they are now, can I really make it out there in the real world?

How will I survive with such a low GPA. Is there a future for me. I don't know how I should feel about it.

Whenever I start to think about it, I always end up pushing it to the back of my mind.

People ask me whether I've gone for my medical check up and what uni's I've applied to.

I don't know how to answer them.

I used to be an above average student way back but here I am at the bottom of the barrel.

After considering my future. Maybe getting involved in FO was not the best decision for me.

It has led me astray from what I really needed to do in poly.

Maybe, just maybe, once this FO is over, I'll call it quits and end of my FO journey with the rest of my friends.

While they continue on to army or uni or wherever. I'll remain in poly, stagnant.