Monday, February 17, 2014
I wish for many things, things I wish I didn't have to wish for.
6am in the morning and it has dawned on me that this rate, I have nothing to show for the past 10 years. By 2020 what would I have gained.
I'm still in the midst of figuring out what I want to do with my life.
I've had a few ideas of going into the restaurant business. But right now they're just ideas. And even then, I don't know if people will take me seriously.
I've got way too much shit going on in my head. And I've never been good at writing down my thoughts.
Which is why all my post have no structure of any sort and it's all messed up. Just like my head.
I need to do something, because compared to plenty of people, I live a pretty decent life.
Financially I'm not the richest but I have enough.
A mother who is always supportive. Even if she hides her disappointment from me.
A prideful Father who tries to teach me the harsh realities of the world but not in the best ways sometime.
But most importantly my family is intact.
Something that occurred to me in poly is that many people in Poly come from troubled families and seperated families. I'm not saying those people are bad or 2nd rate.
But to me, they have plenty of reasons to fail yet they somehow succeed through all these hardships
Yet I have every reason to succeed but I some how manage to fuck things up.
What am I going to do with my life..